Month: July 2022

A nomadic life
with a bit here
and a little there
 I go about in a frenzy
not knowing the
direction I am in.

I jot down few points
 read them again and again
 a kind of exercise  I willingly
 do to keep them in mind
which I never attempted a year ago
cause I  had a beautiful  memory.

The read and reread
goes to naught
as I forget most in a second
next minute I encounter
a  fresh assault
on unfamiliar issues.

Seemingly an enigma
from without, I remain
disintegrated
within,  recalling,
forgetting experiencing
an incoherence.

At times clever
most times foolish’
could be my behaviour
a kind of  pessimism
prevails as I  observe
perhaps  echoes
 my weak optimism.

I feel insecure in a crowd

which  guffaws, talks loud
converse  unmeaningful
 a sort of reluctance,
 I experience.. Perhaps
 a fish out of water
 an idiom much used.

The part of me, which identifies
a shrewdness. rises up in full flow
floods with an unexpected force
leads me to an inebriated  mood
while my sensibility, rather my sensitivity  
 condemns the  incoherence.

—

Born in a land where virtue

is worshipped,

Brought up in a family which
stresses on discipline,

Studied in a convent where
 rules are gospel.

Graduating in a college which
 mentors with an iron hand.

 I stay stiff and sober,
 an inculcation  rather.

How can I be anything else?

Time takes its wings,
flutters, flies, never pauses.
the  thirty days sojourn
comes to a close
overseeing, managing
 taking stock, reviewing
a call from homeland
halts the schedules
I hasten to a transfer

 With a small bag in hand
containing the credentials,
 I prepare for the flight,
Follow the procedures
immigration, security check,
a full  two and a half hours
wait, I undergo such trials
 month in and month out,
for a decade and half.

I will have to experience
the ordeal again  next month.
 Likening to migratory birds,
 I envy them as they fly
 free, no rules  to stop them
 start and reach when and where
they like . Could I not travel the
same way? I ask  “Move on”
cries the burly official, I stagger.

–