My Angst

Having a satisfaction
of acquiring limited success
in my life, I rest in peace
in my shell, in private
away from the crowd.

When I am unusually pulled in
from somewhere, where
I have very little connection
with malicious intentions
my rage grows without bounds,
I feel like bashing them straight
on their face.

Those of whom I have helped
financially, morally, finding jobs,
securing admissions all done
by a phone call, behave strange
once the job is over I simmer
with anger curse myself
for having extended assistance.




With the night approaching
 birds back home 
 I  hear very little noise.

Darkness encircles  
makes the night  intense.
could see few lights.

Bereft of life, activities 
turn least, the clock  ticks
It seems everlasting/

The minutest of sound 
magnifies to an audible noise
making the heart race.

Thus I sit in the parlour,
counting the hours,
as the pendulum oscillates 

with a strike every half an hour,
in an anticipation of  dawn. 
An ordeal it  becomes.

Nights fold , days 
open out, years roll.
I live quietly without 


Those And These

Active and passive 
the voices that govern 
a language.

Quiet and  aggressive
the manner which reign
with a supremacy.

Hot and cold 
those of which 
 affect the weather,

The extremes 
 fasten and unfasten
 as and when they wish.

Ups and downs 
being responsible for 
success and failure.

That which happens 
those which escape
do take place on their own,

Exceptions are not many, 
a handful so to say 
almost negligible.


I Do Not Know

The days that have passed
where I had to interact with persons 
 with the  least  qualifications
 seems to be a nightmare when 
I retrospect.

I give credit to myself
not that I succeeded 
but how I co existed 
how much I have gained?

Gain in the sense of experience
maintained an equilibrium,
sustained a juxtaposition, made
possible with enormous efforts.

I blame myself all the more
 for having lost heavily 
monetarily and been a subject 
of taunt owing to my passiveness.

Which one is greater? remains 
a question. It is all how
one  perceives the situation
money or credibility.

Which way does the balance tilt 
towards  esteem or  through 
disappointment?  I really 
do not know.



My lovely trees, I cry.
“you had been
with me for forty years.
All in an hour 
you have fallen
lie desperate
 on the ground”.

Green fronds
with heads held high 
slide down  in a wink 
 kiss the dust,
The nuts big and small
crash and break,
water spurting out.

I look at all of you 
grief stricken 
cursing my inability 
to protect you. 
I kneel down 
touch the firm 
rooted remains.

I hear a whimper
look around to find 
from where it comes,
I could not zero in 
perhaps it is from you 
while departing 
once and for all.



They Being Alive

The five  of them grew 
strong. Straight they shoot up.
one a little tall, the others 
not far behind.

After years of upward spurt
they inclined towards light
 the deviation was not marked
 not an hindrance to the well being.

Taken good care by the family 
 they turn fruitful
 yielding in scores,
rewarding as they could..

As years roll by 
the penultimate 
started to bend 
 a big hunch  visible.

The others follow 
but with less distinction.
The ones except the fifth 
cross all boundaries.

They prod and peek 
through the windows,
rest on the balcony, pose
a danger to the house.

 They totter vigorously 
on a stormy day, fearing 
a crash, I  uproot them,
down they come in a thud  

Unable to control my grief
 I walk towards the interior 
The workers  pile them in 
 a truck and off they go.

If only my neighbour 
 had chopped the huge branch 
 five of them would have been saved.
and would have lived with me.


Silent Night

It is Christmas 
merry Christmas 
as all would say 
looks different 
this year 

It is Christmas
sober and sullen
 appears  demur 
 this year.

 Carols go missing,
 nor could I see  Santa 
 in his sleigh with bag loads 
of gifts. 

it is quiet and still
stars do not twinkle
 the sky stays without glitter,.
The song catches up

“Silent Night, Holy Night,
All is calm, all is bright
Sleep in heavenly  peace
Sleep in heavenly peace”.


How Does My Garden Grow?

The garden in my backyard
 with fruit trees so long
 comes out with  vegetables 
this season,

Starting with four brinjals
 the ones white with green stalk
 their exterior is snowy, 
 shining and soft.

The tender ones float like 
an oval ball  in the broth 
made with tamarind juice, 
garam masala.

They being organic
lend  a taste 
unfound in the ones 
bought in the market.

I like to expand  the activity 
of growing vegetables 
at least for our personal
the old man and woman we are.


The Four Seasons

We do not have the four seasons
as pronounced in other parts
it is always hot, warm and pleasant.

December used to be moderate
but this year it is cold with winds
penetrating into the bones.

Rains come and go without signs
unexpected ones turn into cyclones
flooding causing an havoc.

One more week to go
this 2020 has done more harm
than good, pandemic, weather,
and economy making matters worse.


The Other Side

I am obsessed with a merchant community  
reputed for their munificence
 have another face. 

Transactions govern them. 
 Revenue  stands out.
Investing for returns.

Unheard of in Weddings,
where the demand rockets 
the grooms wielding power.

What started in thousands 
goes beyond millions, 
cash and kind soar.

The grooms family 
takes pride of 
begetting a son.

The counterpart 
 remains demur 
 and accept.

 Generosity is  found in public 
Niggardliness looms large in private.
Irony breathes with a sigh.