Month: May 2021

I make calls to friends 
most unusual of me, they
 share details on many aspects 
 and practices alien to me,

They tell me of  Rajini
 who is living abroad,
 about Shalini’s plight
 and Kamini’s  rise.

Rajini  is fashion oriented, 
 snobbish  in outlook while 
Shalini has to bear the family’s 
yoke, Kamini is nouveau rich,

 My  indulgence, leads me to enter
Rajini’s parlour, compels me to
 sneak into the patio of Shalini,
 pushes me to  peek  through

 the curtains of Kamini,  I start
to hate myself for being too nosy.
Condemning myself, I hit back 
resorting to my original self,

No more calls, no more enquiries,
no more comments, no more
 criticisms, all the more  I  do not want 
to know about others.   Straightening 
I bow.

Buffaloes lie in the middle
of the road. Cows saunter, 
garbage lies in heaps,
bikes and cars follow no rules.
Could this be India?

It is, I say, perfectly.
A common sight, as 
one espies. An eyesore,
making one frown. An obvious 
disaster!

Unmindful sensibility  is apparent,
Insight of the other side, reveals 
 the neatly  swept front yard
 of the house with colourful Kolams .

The daily baths, even twice a day 
by the people,  sweeping , mopping the floors,   
fumes from  sambrani  release fragrance. 
the poojas   in the morning and evening

extend a divine feel,  The contrast 
as of the exterior and the interior
seems clueless.  Could it be attributed 
to the mysticism of the ancient land?

Birds sing merrily, dogs bark,
fiercely. donkeys bray
in containment zone

The Trinity, 
 Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva
 Creator, Protector 
and Destroyer, execute 
without any pause.

Brahma has relaxed 
with the births dwindling.
Vishnu struggles to save 
the lives as the pandemic 
is raging with a vengeance,

Shiva does it with ease
Taking the lives in a stroke
 hundreds and thousands die
Cities emit  a  constant glow
with  dead bodies burning.

Of the three, Shiva seemsswift
 in his deals,   The cosmic dance
 he performs , at times is one 
of exhilaration, Ananda Tandava .
grand and  joyous.

The  RudraTandava,  violent and furious 
signifies the destruction of cosmos, Shiva
is performing with fury at present, signifies
 not the end of the world but a new beginning, 
Rauthram. of Shiva has to subside 
to attain bliss.

Grown older by an year
and a half,  the hair 
mostly grey, I look 
at the mirror, which reflects
 a gaunt face.

I talk to the image 
 gesticulate, scold,
appreciate, accept 
deny.   as if I am 
confronting   another 
human. 

Recalling my mother’s words.
when I was five years old,
 I talked danced sang and played
 before the mirror, addressing 
the reflection as Beena,  another
 toddler of the same age

 That sensitivity  has surfaced 
unknowingly, cause being the long 
confinement at home accompanied 
by fear. Apprehensions  drive me mad,
reports terrify, disaster stares.

I look at the mirror, my only solace,
 The one,  envisage, echoes 
a similar sensibility,   Withdrawing 
from the virtual, I gaze at the sky
where clouds gather.  a prelude to rains,

Silence is noise,
sweet and pleasing.
one of awe,
one that inspires.

Silence is an exposition
of impressions, live
and bygones. Gold like

The trees and flowers
expressions of fecundity
and beauty, display
eloquence.

The buildings tall
and small deliver
the sighs and cries
with subtle reference.

Places of worship,
command a sanctity
telecast the aura
of divinity.

These turn prosaic
in their placements
when noise permeates
extensively.

They imbibe a poetic glow
when quietness enfolds.
turning into a transparent
and translucent stillness.

a spirited wish from one 
afar, greetings flow 
uninterruptedly, messages 
flash with quotes.

Returning  each with gratitude,
 I stay  overwhelmed with 
joy.  Honoured, by the near 
and dear, I feel elated.

As the day passes,  a friend calls.
She asks me did your sons’
express their love, I pout, a gesture
 to indicate they did not.

She  waxes eloquently of Corona, 
the second wave,  the disaster,
 lockdown.  I listen to her lecture
 My mind elsewhere,

Have I not been a good mother?
 Been strict in their school days.
making them work hard. Perhaps.
 they hold a grudge.

The mobile rings., my first one 
is on line, chats for an hour hangs up
Dismayed, I go back to my work, interrupted
by the second, who asks me  

about how things are progressing  
advises me to slow down. The youngest 
comes in between, chides me 
for exerting  beyond my capacity.

The three musketeers  leave without 
a slightest thought to wish me. 

Overlooking the faults
 as slips, errors as carelessness
 I go with a spirit indomitable 
 not to hurt others  at any cost.

I do not  lose temper 
with my staff nor do I scream
 at my children when they 
 stay stubborn.

That being my nature,
 if, at all. I turn furious
 I break down while  a sob 
 gives me out.

This could be the reason
 I find myself in a stature 
 where I am taken for granted
 experiencing disappointments.

The little of me,  
I have expressed, 
places me in an inevitable
posture most unenviable. 

It is 10.30 in the night,
the next house is busy,
I am wrong, it is no more
an house but an eatery
overnight.

The clatter while making
[i]Kothu [/i][/i]Parotta
tears the silence. Spot
lights shine.

Five or six cooks
mix the flour, roll
into balls, spread them
and swing left to right.

Watching the art of making
such ones with awe,
anguish surges when I think
of the yesterdays ,

the place was a haven of peace
silent and holy. I could hear
the fall of a pin minutely.
I blame none but my destiny.

The day before
 men came in a truck
 unloaded the furniture.

First came the tables
without paint,  rickety 
chairs followed.

A rugged looking man
 jumps down, shouts 
Vanagada , vangada
.
A first shot in the arm,
the noise hitherto unknown
breaks the serenity.

Disheartened, I turn back,
  a few more years to go,
 I tell myself,  Soon will be 

 entrapped in an unbecoming  environ, 
 I talk to the environmentalists, the 
civic authorities

who promise to bring back 
  peace.  A saying in Tamil
strikes me,

” nai vitra kaasu kulaikuma?”
meaning the sale proceeds 
of a dog will not bark.