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India Versus Norway: Diplomatic Embroil Over Bringing up Children


India Versus Norway: Diplomatic Embroil Over Bringing up Children on Blogcritics.

 

“The Child is father of the Man,” reads the famous line from William Wordsworth. Begetting a child gives unfathomable pleasure. Bringing up the little one is an art. The making and unmaking of a child depends largely on the mother.feeding

Parenting is a task which requires great skill and foresight. Indians form a close-knit community. Every relation has an importance in the Indian family. The Indian mother, after a child is born, lives with the child all day long. The newborn is nurtured with great care, fed as and when it cries, sleeps nestling close to the mother. The children are put in separate rooms once they become self-sufficient and independent. The bonding between the child and the mother is special, enchanting and enhancing too. The proximity developed between the mother and the child lasts all through their life. Indians presume it as a healthy sign but in the West it is eyed differently.

Norway is in the headlines for separating the children of an Indian geoscientist from their parents since May 2011. Anurup and Sagarika Bhattacharya’s children, three-year old Abigyan and one-year-old Aishwarya, were taken under Norwegian protective care by the Norwegian Welfare services on the ground that the son slept with Churchillhis father and the mother fed the children with her fingers.

This allegation brings to mind an anecdote from a few decades back, when the former Indian President Dr. Radhakrishnan and the British Prime Minister Churchill met over dinner. As per the Indian custom, the President washed his hands well before eating. While Churchill was busy with spoon and fork, Dr.Radhakrishnan was eating with his fingers. Churchill asked the President to use the spoon and fork for better hygiene. The great scholar quipped, “No one else could use my fingers so I consider it most hygienic.” What would have happened to Dr. Radhakrishnan if he had visited Norway now? He would have been put in a centre and alienated from his kith and kin. Dr. Radahakrishnan is dead and gone. He has escaped the Norwegian authorities.

 

Norway’s Child Protective Service is a powerful organization which has been charged with being overzealous in protecting the children. The Norwegian Statistical Bureau, in its latest report of 2011, shows that 19 of every 1,000 children born to immigrant parents were taken away from their family homes between 2004 and 2010.

In a report by IBN-CNN, Mr. Bhattacharya says, “We’ve appealed to the government that we’ll leave everything and go back to India. This is a nightmare in our lives. We want to bring back our kids. We were normal parents. There could be several upbringing issues because the culture is different.”

The Indian Government has taken up the issue and forced the Norwegian government to release the children from Protective Care. Their 27-year-old uncle would take custody of the children and the expenses for his trip to Oslo would be borne by the Indian government.

Each country has its own culture. Each country has its own theory and convictions regarding sex, children, marriage, habits, and behaviour. That which is approved in one part of the world may be strongly condemned in another region. Customs and traditions which seem offensive to one sect are appreciated highly by the other.

Shakespeare said that discretion is the better part of valor. Let us practise this ideal by honouring all cultures and values.

Read more: http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/india-versus-norway-diplomatic-entanglement-over/page-2/#ixzz1uH3breMR

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Raising Three Boys:A strain,a Drain,But Not in Vain


Article first published as Raising Three Boys: A Strain, a Drain, But Not in Vain on Blogcritics.

 

The strain of bringing up children, especially boys, has taken half my life. Yes, I am in my late 50s. I became a mother at 21, and from then on it was a struggle. I have three sons. When the eldest was eight the youngest was born and the middle one was three years old. Imagine my plight.

The eldest was always up to pranks, as eight-year-olds often are. He would be under a table, the next minute upon it, in a few minutes perched upon a tree making faces at me. While I went out to bring him down, the second one pinched the newborn, pulling the little one’s hair and running out in fear when the baby started crying. I had to lift the baby from the cot to console him, had to bring my second one to my fold lest he would feel unwanted, and had to pull the first one forcefully down from the tree and make him do his homework. It was a yoga.

While they were growing I had to undergo a different kind of exercise. I had to conduct coaching at home. I had to teach algebra to one, addition to the second, and counting to the youngest. I helped in writing essays, taught spelling, and identified the alphabets. Preparing food, supervising the laundry, and keeping the house clean were the other chores I had to attend to. I did all these with splendid vigour. Turning back, I see my efforts were amazing. How did I do all these things? Now I take hours to cook the meals. I grumble. I begrudge. I curse. My legs ache, my fingers get numb. I throw tantrums. Why do I feel so?

 

In the past I did so because I was young, because I had a lot of affection, because I wanted to meet the demands. Now I do so because of age, because of loneliness, because of saturation. My hands were full then. Now I am without work, with no pressing schedule anymore.

My children have migrated to different lands. We spend our days in two countries now. Part of the year we live in the country of our birth, but the major part in the country where our business is located. Recalling my erstwhile duties I feel exalted. My past was a stressful pleasure.

I discussed my experience with my children a little while ago. They enjoyed the narration and in between came out with the incidents which I had forgotten. They grinned and chuckled. Suddenly, to my despair, they broke into tumultuous laughter. I had never seen them in such high moods. I kept silent like a little girl ordered to keep quiet: “Put your finger on your lips.”

The three of them looked at my posture. They came close to me, sat around me, held my hands, looked at my eyes, and said slowly, “Mama, we are going through the same phase now. We lose our patience now and then, but never once did we see you furious.”

I brushed aside my tears and dragged the boys to my bosom. However old they might be they are still my sweet little boys, with velvety hair, big eyes, sharp noses, and broad mischievous grins.

Read more: http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/raising-three-boys-a-strain-a/page-2/#ixzz1cz30ewA3


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Parenting.


Is  the word  parenting a new coinage?

Parenting  is  a process of promoting and supporting,the physical, emotional,social , intellectual development of a child from chid to adult hood.Is it then an employment?Is it an occupation?Is it a duty?Recently, it has become a course of study.Unassumingly,  I am reminded of a quote.

“Some people are born great, some have greatness thrusted on them, some achieve greatness”

My reference of this quote  to parenting , may appear irrelevant.But why such a recollection buzzed my mind ,when I thought of the topic? I know not.

Parenting is an impregnate word ,carrying with it fine feelings yet  having deviating principles.,intrinsic values yet promoting discreet functions,  great responsibilities yet propounding varied faith. 

Parenting is a duty of every biological parent.Begetting a chid is a wonderful experience. Raising a child is an absorbing strain, which will have both a pleasurable elation and a discouraging  depression. Coping with the tedious analogies ,which besiege the mental balance, which exhaust the physical equilibrium,which render a thorough obsession,is a difficult operation.

Business can be learnt. Right decisions or wrong moves affect  financial gains. The congeniality  of the market, the upward and the downward trend , the fluctuations, can be mastered by applying the mind on the effective  starts, analysing the data, and working accordingly. On the contrary ,parenting is a subject which needs patience, timely interventions,sharp wit, concealing certain dilutions, revealing certain concentrations.

An extrovert parenting , declares an outward show of affection . showering profuse kisses, praising the child sky high, giving whatever is desired, on one side. On the other, behaving savagely,  scolding inhumanely,  delivering beatings ,  condemning outrageously , retards the germination..It is like a plant shooting up, and then drooping. Ultimately there is no growth. 

An introvert parenting,discloses nothing. There is no appreciation, no fault-finding, a dumb response to whatever situation, whether it be pleasant or deplorable. It is similar to a plant growing on own accord. If it sustains , it is because of nobody’s effort.. If it dies, again it is not due to anybody’s fault.There is a minimal chance of growth.

Now , how nurture  a child?This question focuses on parenting. Parenting can be defined in short as care for a child. A child is like a rose. The queen of flowers has soft petals, and thorns . The softer side has to be treated with diligence. A slight rough act or a hurried move will thwart the beauty. Once ,deranged  the  is lost, rather the purpose is dead. The prickly part of the flower, is a warning ,which forebades any fretted onslaughts. If a slight inattentive push is hovered, then there is a gush of red blood with tears innumerable.

So ,a child is like a rose .Have a benign look, and a cryptic watch at the same time. Speak in a kindly note, and maintain discipline simultaneously. Provide best sources and deprive worst  connections.Work coherently with the child. refrain from indulging in dispersive distractions, like smoking, drinking, gambling, and behaving atrociously. The young mind  is an open register. It records unobtrusively that which happens around, that which is discussed in depth.

As the child grows, a slow withdrawal  should be enforced by the parents. As a breast-fed child is weaned in stages, the parental  monitoring should be minimised  gradually. After the  child crosses its teens, the supervision could be withheld. This lesson can be learnt from our co habitants-animals. They accomplish the task perfectly. The adult,  is now free to get into the world. Such an adult , nourished with careful parenting is sure to succeed  .

Parenting is an art.Mastering it is a craft. Excelling in it is an award.