Caught In Between

Those of my staff 
who had gone for good.
who had left on their own
a few who I have sent back
 keep coming in my thoughts
for reasons unknown

Most of them had been 
with me for decades. I, 
 their boss never 
bossed over,  They ,
 my deputies never 
felt so.

Of recent, one of 
them, the cook 
wants to come back
needs me to call and confirm. 
Representing through  those 
in service. he  draws  attention.

Holding back, I recollect
 the experiences I had with 
him, mostly pleasant, 
 a few being horrible.
“Make your mind, plead
 my aching knees”.

I feel I have to give up
 if not my knees will 
 stop working.  I am
 at cross roads, ego  
or inability, which 
is the surmount?